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Don’t DIY! An Open Letter from Your Lower Back

Hey, it’s me, your lower back, that part of your body you largely ignore, except for those few times a year when I kick and scream because, let’s face it, you aren’t as strong as you used to be. Sometimes I just have to protest and show you who’s boss.

Like last week, during your monthly visit to the gym, was that clean-and-jerk on the free weights really necessary? Do the words “Lift with your KNEES” mean anything?! C’mon, man, what are you trying to prove?

So here’s the thing, you’ve got a big household move coming up. Yep, the fam’s 4BR-3BA relo going 1200 miles to Pensacola for the new job. Trust me, you’re stressed about it. All of it. I can tell. But you’re STILL thinking about doing it yourself. Clearly you’ve forgotten the DIY moves of 2011, 2013, and 2014. Dark times for our relationship. Dark times.

So, as a reminder, I’ve been trying to send you subtle hints and reminders that you should NOT DIY again, dude. Notice that dull ache down your left leg last week? That was me. Or waking up a bit stiff yesterday. Me again.

Do yourself a favor and hire a professional, man. It’s ok! No one will think any less of you. I’ll be good for a long time, even until AFTER your upcoming golf trip to Cabo. I know how much you’ve been looking forward to that. I do appreciate it when you do massages on these trips even if it kinda freaks you out when people touch you.

Anyway, let’s talk about money. You’re a tad seduced by the lure of saving it on this move, thinking you can tackle all the boxes, couches, armoires and furniture like you’re John Cena. But have you really done the math? I mean, REALLY done the math, including pain and suffering? How do you plan to haul that ATV? Or that giant birdbath? (yeah, I don’t like it either). Oh, don’t forget the patio furniture, bbq, piano, washer and dryer, canoe AND kayak, and that grandfather clock that’s not even working. And that’s just the tip of your logistical iceberg. #attic #basement

So, please do me a favor and get professional help. Oh, you know what I mean. A professional moving company. I hear there are a ton on uShip looking to help stubborn fellas like you and their families. It’s what they do. And they are good at it, based on what past customers have said. You can even put in a price based on your budget.

There’s a good chance it’ll run you about the same, if not a bit less than doing it yourself. All without the blood, sweat and tears. Just so you know, all five Lumbar Brothers and the Sciatica Twins agree with me.

Do yourself and all of us a favor. Get on uShip, man.

Love you.